Fans love the hilarious, hit sitcom Two And A Half Men. From 2003-2015, and with twelve whole seasons, there are quite a lot of episodes to watch and love. If you’re wondering which ones you should go back and binge, we made a list of the best episodes over the entire series starring Charlie, Alan, Jake and the rest of their zany cast of characters.
In other words, here are the 12 best episodes, with one from each season, ranked. Yes, even the later seasons.
12 Season 12: “A Beer-Battered Rip-Off” (Episode 12) 6.0/10
In the last season of our favorite sitcom, Walden is trying to adopt the adorable six-year-old, Louis.
In this episode, Walden is worried that the adoption process will be affected when Alan breaks up with their social worker. Sure, Alan probably shouldn’t have dated the social worker (especially since they’re supposed to be a gay couple?), but this makes for a pretty hilarious episode. However, it still ends up pretty low on our ranking, scoring only a 6.0/10 on IMDb.
11 Season 9: “Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy” (Episode 16) 6.5/10
There’s a torrential storm in Malibu, and Alan and Walden are stuck at home with their feuding girlfriends (on Valentine’s Day, we might add). This episode is cringy and comedic, and we loved hanging out with these characters during the storm.
This episode takes the best spot for our first season with Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt. However, it still didn’t quite make it high on this list, scoring only a 6.5/10.
10 Season 10: “One Nut Johnson” (Episode 10) 7.0/10
When Walden creates his “Sam Wilson”, everyday-guy persona, he finally finds a woman who isn’t interested in him for the money.
We meet Kate, and their budding romance is quite the entertaining one as Walden strings along his lie. This episode managed a 7.0 on IMDb, and takes the #1 slot for the tenth season. Clearly, these newer seasons aren’t the best of episodes, but we still love them, right?
9 Season 11: “Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang” (Episode 19) 7.3/10
In this episode, we are introduced to the beautiful Vivian (AKA Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher’s IRL wifey and brilliant actress). However, Walden is trying to propose to his girlfriend, Kate, but falls for this bombshell. We can’t blame him, but he ends up losing both gals in a messy and hilarious fashion.
Oh yes, and Gretchen finds out that Alan’s “Jeff Strongman” persona is a lie. Yikes, boys, why you gotta lie like that? At least this episode scored an impressive 7.3/10.
8 Season 3: “Hi, Mr. Horned One” (Episode 6) 8.5/10
In this episode, scoring 8.5/10, Charlie’s Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural (obviously, right?) It seems to be the cause of some pretty strange happenings around the Harper house, especially when Alan crosses her and becomes “cursed”.
Yeah, you can imagine the horrors Alan faces, and Charlie, too, as he fears breaking up with her. This episode is a mess, but it’s definitely a hilarious one.
7 Season 8: “Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud” (Episode 1) 8.6/10
In this season premiere, Alan tries to prevent Jake from finding out that he’s sleeping with his friend’s (Eldridge) mom. Charlie also contemplates giving up drinking after a crazy night where he can’t remember anything. What could possibly go wrong in this episode, right?
Well, this premiere scored a whopping 8.6/10 on IMDb, and we loved every second of its chaos.
6 Season 6: “The Two Finger Rule” (Episode 19) 8.7/10
When Charlie, Alan, and Herb commiserate on their stupid decisions, they get put on the outs by their significant others (shocking, right?) This episode scored an 8.7, and we loved every minute of these men getting their just desserts and trying to figure out their lives with their women. Don’t you take their crap, ladies.
5 Season 4: “Walnuts and Demerol” (Episode 11) 8.7/10
In this Christmas episode, Charlie quests to get laid (of course). However, it all falls apart when everybody shows up at his house, in their lonesome, and refuse to leave. We’re talking Kandi, Herb, and a plethora of other hilarious and unhinged characters.
Of course, this episode is a wild ride, and we loved every minute. It definitely deserves its 8.7/10.
4 Season 7: “Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.” (Episode 8)
In this episode, Charlie invites Chelsea’s friend to stay over at his place while she gets over a breakup. Of course, she’s quite attractive, and Charlie just can’t quite get over his misogynistic brain over having his girlfriend and her hot bestie in his house at the same time.
Yeah, it doesn’t exactly go his way, but this episode did, and it landed an amazing 8.8/10.
3 Season 5: “Fish in a Drawer” (Episode 17)
This is parody of CSI episode (yes, we know you love it), where a body is found dead on Charlie’s bed (spoiler: it’s Evelyn’s new hubby), and detectives try to figure out who the killer is. This is a hilarious and brilliant mash of Two and a Half Men humor, interrogation, and cool as hell CSI camera effects.
We know you loved every cringy second, and this is your favorite ever CSI episode. It’s pretty obvious, we mean, it got an 8.8/10.
2 Season 1: “Camel Filters and Pheromones” (Episode 12)
In the very first season of this hit sitcom, one of the episodes made another 8.8/10.
In this one, Berta brings her 16-year-old granddaughter (the stunning and brilliant Megan Fox), to work. Of course, this bombshell creates a lot of issues for the men, and they know Berta is a terrifying guard dog. What could possibly go wrong, right? At the very least, Megan is our gal, and this episode is brilliantly cringy and absolutely hilarious.
1 Season 2: “Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab” (Episode 23)
If you’re a huge Two and a Half Men fan, you probably immediately laughed when you read this episode title, or at the very least read it in young Jake’s voice. After finding out that Jake spends a ton of time at Judith’s parents’ house, Evelyn decides to take Jake for a sleepover. The whole time, Charlie and Jake are worried that their mother will indoctrinate and ruin the poor boy.
However, Evelyn also has her hands full with this little monster, and yes, he gets spaghetti absolutely everywhere and also overflows the tub until the ceiling bursts. Squab… squab… 8.8/10 for squab. #1 spot on this list for Jake, and, well, squab. We’re more than happy this episode takes the gold medal.